I'm a bit of an outsider in the BDSM scene. I make leatherwork, much of which is in demand from people in the scene, and it is a fascinating place. It is an umbrella term covering a huge number of practices from voyeurism to domination, slave/master relationships to intense pain and degradation. It is certainly not for everyone.
There is one thing that the whole BDSM community can stand behind though, and that is that all play, all scenes, all relationships, are consensual. SSC, or Safe, Sane and Consensual, is one of the terms you'll hear used. There are others, particularly for the heavier end of the scene, but mostly you'll hear SSC. What does it mean? Exactly what it says. Whatever your kink, keep it safe, sane and above all else, consensual.
No abuse. No threats. No Mr Grey.
Consent is not something of blurred lines, there are no grey areas. Either you have consent or you do not. If you have consent and the other party changes their mind for ANY reason partway through, you stop - you no longer have consent. If the party is unconscious and you have not already discussed this scenario, you do not have consent. Consent is the absolute key to BDSM relationships.
Everyone has limits, but in BDSM you can define those limits easier than in 'vanilla' life. You can, and are encouraged to, define exactly what you are comfortable with, what you are willing to discuss further before deciding whether to try it, and what you will not do. Your partner or partners know then what your desires are, and you know theirs. You all agree what is acceptable.
50 Shades is not BDSM. It is a series about a deeply disturbed individual who uses his wealth , position, threats, and the innocence of his victim, to manipulate her into doing things far outside her comfort zone. This is abuse, plain and simple.It is a man who openly admits to being mentally unbalanced forcing his will on another and using guilt to keep her from leaving. This is a stereotype of an abusive household, not a BDSM relationship. He encourages empathy and uses that to force her beyond her limits. He uses threats, both economic and physical, to keep her from leaving. He does this not with an experienced woman but a naive, inexperienced virgin. She stays partly through fear, partly through guilt and partly through thinking she can 'fix' him.
She cannot fix him. That would take a fully qualified and experienced mental health team and many years hard work on HIS part, not on hers.
Find entertainment in the book if you can. Watch the movie if it appeals to you, but do not ever make the mistake of thinking this is what BDSM is. This series is about abuse and domestic violence, sexual harassment and mental instability, not BDSM.
Tuesday 17 February 2015
Monday 16 February 2015
Same horse, same race, a new jockey won't change much
So now the Aussie PM Abbott has survived hs spill motion and said he'd start 'good government' - and what was he doing before, if that's the case? - and this week has shown nothing of the new leaf he was supposed to have turned over. More captains calls, more verbal assaults and insults at any that do not agree with him and more media frenzy over how long he can last.
The thing is, will changing the jockey alter the race?
My belief is that it will not. The LNP has been the most repressive, the most unilaterally unforgiving, the cruelest government this country has seen since the original landing by Cook.
Over 87% of frontline services that help victims of domestic violence have lost their funding completely and most still don't know what they will finally end up with. The changes to the Centrelink, Aged Pension, and Medicare systems are directly aimed at the young, the poor, the low income families and the elderly. The rich have benefited from tax breaks and superannuation benefits. Businesses, most especially mining, have seen huge amounts of public funds given to them as well as the repeal of the carbon tax. Laws have been changed to allow the state to hide more of the funding it gets from businesses and laws have been enacted which impact huge numbers of innocent bikies for the sake of a few crooked individuals.
All this from the same party, the LNP. The ministers who are being touted as possible replacements for Abbott are ministers in this same government, so they either agree with what has been done or cared too little to try and change the decisions.
In fact, it's less like changing the jockey in a horse race and more like a pit stop in Formula One. They went out with the wrong rubber on the car, they have lost ground and now want to pit early in the hope they can regain ground before the race finishes at the next election. The car is the same, the mechanics are the same, the team is the same, all they want to do is scrap the worn out tyres and put some better rubber on, but not even Bridgestone could help when the party is heading in the wrong direction!
The thing is, will changing the jockey alter the race?
My belief is that it will not. The LNP has been the most repressive, the most unilaterally unforgiving, the cruelest government this country has seen since the original landing by Cook.
Over 87% of frontline services that help victims of domestic violence have lost their funding completely and most still don't know what they will finally end up with. The changes to the Centrelink, Aged Pension, and Medicare systems are directly aimed at the young, the poor, the low income families and the elderly. The rich have benefited from tax breaks and superannuation benefits. Businesses, most especially mining, have seen huge amounts of public funds given to them as well as the repeal of the carbon tax. Laws have been changed to allow the state to hide more of the funding it gets from businesses and laws have been enacted which impact huge numbers of innocent bikies for the sake of a few crooked individuals.
All this from the same party, the LNP. The ministers who are being touted as possible replacements for Abbott are ministers in this same government, so they either agree with what has been done or cared too little to try and change the decisions.
In fact, it's less like changing the jockey in a horse race and more like a pit stop in Formula One. They went out with the wrong rubber on the car, they have lost ground and now want to pit early in the hope they can regain ground before the race finishes at the next election. The car is the same, the mechanics are the same, the team is the same, all they want to do is scrap the worn out tyres and put some better rubber on, but not even Bridgestone could help when the party is heading in the wrong direction!
Monday 9 February 2015
Creative Uncommons - the demise of the artisan/craftsperson
This is dedicated to all those of us who are makers. The wood and metal workers, the potters, the leathercrafters, the jewelers, the stitchers and seamstresses, to name a handful of the wonderful talent we are so busy losing.
Why do I say that? Ask an artist. It is so easy these days to buy cheap from overseas that the local artists are becoming an unwanted resource. The world is so biased towards the disposable society we no longer look for craftsmanship, we just want something cheap and right now.
It has took me years to learn my skills. To understand the materials I use, how they react to different techniques and methods, how to use them the best way, how to get what I want from them. It's not an overnight thing. Except, it can be. There's companies overseas that specialise in deconstructing your work and making it in large quantities at a fraction of the cost I could offer and selling it through online sites. Many even steal the pictures from your site to promote their knockoff, linking you to their poorly made versions, as people will recognise the pictures and assume it's a licensed copy or even that you yourself are responsible.
That however, is a rare occurrence. The usual response to seeing a craftspersons work is along the likes of, "Oh, how lovely, it's perfect! I wish I could afford that," followed by them walking away. I am often asked about my prices. Can I do this item at that price? Why is it so expensive? Well, that's because getting quality materials is not cheap. I'll drop anywhere from $300 to $700 each trip to the leather shop, and that does not include tools, stamps, hardware, thread, dyes and finishes. Add the same again for all that and you have my minimum costs for materials for a month or so. Then add my time, and you'll see it's not going to be cheap.
So what happens? People see the lovely handmade goods, exclaim over them, see the price, and walk away. The artisan then has the choice of trying to cover costs by lowering the price, or making enough to get by. Often it's a double edged sword as if you price low you still can't beat the imports but you will end up being accused of importing since 'all the good stuff is really expensive so it must be from a sweatshop!'
What this world has forgotten is that we depend on the skills of the artisan. We have done for thousands of years. It's the only backup there is to the global marketplace, and it's essential to keep those skills current. The more we lose, the more difficult it is for the next generation to learn those skills, and without them it's a very precarious, not to say dull, existence.
Support your local talent - the artists, the craftspeople, the makers and the bodgers. They are the heart of the community, and the heartbeat is fading...
Why do I say that? Ask an artist. It is so easy these days to buy cheap from overseas that the local artists are becoming an unwanted resource. The world is so biased towards the disposable society we no longer look for craftsmanship, we just want something cheap and right now.
It has took me years to learn my skills. To understand the materials I use, how they react to different techniques and methods, how to use them the best way, how to get what I want from them. It's not an overnight thing. Except, it can be. There's companies overseas that specialise in deconstructing your work and making it in large quantities at a fraction of the cost I could offer and selling it through online sites. Many even steal the pictures from your site to promote their knockoff, linking you to their poorly made versions, as people will recognise the pictures and assume it's a licensed copy or even that you yourself are responsible.
That however, is a rare occurrence. The usual response to seeing a craftspersons work is along the likes of, "Oh, how lovely, it's perfect! I wish I could afford that," followed by them walking away. I am often asked about my prices. Can I do this item at that price? Why is it so expensive? Well, that's because getting quality materials is not cheap. I'll drop anywhere from $300 to $700 each trip to the leather shop, and that does not include tools, stamps, hardware, thread, dyes and finishes. Add the same again for all that and you have my minimum costs for materials for a month or so. Then add my time, and you'll see it's not going to be cheap.
So what happens? People see the lovely handmade goods, exclaim over them, see the price, and walk away. The artisan then has the choice of trying to cover costs by lowering the price, or making enough to get by. Often it's a double edged sword as if you price low you still can't beat the imports but you will end up being accused of importing since 'all the good stuff is really expensive so it must be from a sweatshop!'
What this world has forgotten is that we depend on the skills of the artisan. We have done for thousands of years. It's the only backup there is to the global marketplace, and it's essential to keep those skills current. The more we lose, the more difficult it is for the next generation to learn those skills, and without them it's a very precarious, not to say dull, existence.
Support your local talent - the artists, the craftspeople, the makers and the bodgers. They are the heart of the community, and the heartbeat is fading...
Thursday 5 February 2015
Ethical jobs - only in the office?
There's a site here in Oz that posts jobs from ethical companies - that is, to quote from their site 'about' page,
So what about us blue collar workers? The tradies, the labourers, the line workers and machine minders, the factory workers and the rest of us who don't work in the office? Where are the ethical companies we can work for?
We want to work for a better world too. We want a sustainable world. We don't want to have to carry on working for the grasping, greedy, money-first, people last corporations that are so often the only option for those who don't have the degrees, the swivel chairs, and the healthy monitor tans.
Where can we work? Where are the ethical manufacturers, the caring corporations, the employee-friendly factories? Give us somewhere to work too! I would take a wage cut to work there if I knew the company was using that money to better the environment instead of paying huge bonuses to their CEO's when they manage to squeeze another drop of blood from the workforce.
"a job-search site for people who want to work for a better world. We list community jobs, environmental jobs, not-for-profit jobs and social enterprise jobs that contribute to a more equitable, more just or more sustainable world."There's only one thing. There are only white collar jobs on there - office work, basically. That and some work in the mental health industry make up the total ethical jobs market, apparently.
So what about us blue collar workers? The tradies, the labourers, the line workers and machine minders, the factory workers and the rest of us who don't work in the office? Where are the ethical companies we can work for?
We want to work for a better world too. We want a sustainable world. We don't want to have to carry on working for the grasping, greedy, money-first, people last corporations that are so often the only option for those who don't have the degrees, the swivel chairs, and the healthy monitor tans.
Where can we work? Where are the ethical manufacturers, the caring corporations, the employee-friendly factories? Give us somewhere to work too! I would take a wage cut to work there if I knew the company was using that money to better the environment instead of paying huge bonuses to their CEO's when they manage to squeeze another drop of blood from the workforce.
Wednesday 4 February 2015
Islam - we're fighting the wrong war with the wrong tools
I find it ironic that the western world stays on friendly terms with arguably the worst of the Islamic nations when it comes to womens rights.
I find it incredible that the same people shouting at us form the political lecterns about how evil Islam is and how badly it treats women are the same ones that are quite happy to host a Saudi prince and give them the keys to the country if they visit.
I find it deplorable that we decry in one nation the exact things that we ignore if that nation is rich and powerful.
Why is it that we only ever see Islam in the news as a terrorist force? Over a fifth of the worlds population is Muslim and yet all we ever hear about are the less than one percent of those 1.6bn people who are prepared to die for their faith and take us with them.
How about we start looking at some of the other places, look at the lives of those who are not in the Middle Eastern warzone.
Places like those wonderful and generous allies of ours in Saudi Arabia, where women have the least rights of any nation I can think of. But it's all right, they are the good guys! Religious police in the Gulf Kingdom which is governed by Sharia Law only recently lifted a ban on females riding motorbikes and bicycles – as long as they wear the full-length veil and are accompanied by a male relative.
It is illegal for Saudi women to travel abroad without male accompaniment. They may only do so if their guardian agrees by signing a document know as a 'yellow sheet' at an airport or border crossing.
In November 2012 it emerged women were being electronically monitored with authorities using SMS to track them and inform their husbands of their whereabouts.
And it was only in 2011 that women were given the right to vote and run for office in municipal elections in 2015.
But let's ignore all that, they are our allies! Let's demonise all the other muslims instead, even the ones living in progressive Islamic nations, even the ones with female leaders and equal rights for women, because it's not Saudi Arabias fault, it's just their culture! A culture of misogyny, of repression, true, but hey, they are rich and have oil, so we must be friends, right?
It's time to bring pressure on the countries that deserve it, and stop killing people - including our own - in countries whose sole fault is that there might be some terrorists somewhere in them hills.
I find it incredible that the same people shouting at us form the political lecterns about how evil Islam is and how badly it treats women are the same ones that are quite happy to host a Saudi prince and give them the keys to the country if they visit.
I find it deplorable that we decry in one nation the exact things that we ignore if that nation is rich and powerful.
Why is it that we only ever see Islam in the news as a terrorist force? Over a fifth of the worlds population is Muslim and yet all we ever hear about are the less than one percent of those 1.6bn people who are prepared to die for their faith and take us with them.
How about we start looking at some of the other places, look at the lives of those who are not in the Middle Eastern warzone.
Places like those wonderful and generous allies of ours in Saudi Arabia, where women have the least rights of any nation I can think of. But it's all right, they are the good guys! Religious police in the Gulf Kingdom which is governed by Sharia Law only recently lifted a ban on females riding motorbikes and bicycles – as long as they wear the full-length veil and are accompanied by a male relative.
It is illegal for Saudi women to travel abroad without male accompaniment. They may only do so if their guardian agrees by signing a document know as a 'yellow sheet' at an airport or border crossing.
In November 2012 it emerged women were being electronically monitored with authorities using SMS to track them and inform their husbands of their whereabouts.
And it was only in 2011 that women were given the right to vote and run for office in municipal elections in 2015.
But let's ignore all that, they are our allies! Let's demonise all the other muslims instead, even the ones living in progressive Islamic nations, even the ones with female leaders and equal rights for women, because it's not Saudi Arabias fault, it's just their culture! A culture of misogyny, of repression, true, but hey, they are rich and have oil, so we must be friends, right?
It's time to bring pressure on the countries that deserve it, and stop killing people - including our own - in countries whose sole fault is that there might be some terrorists somewhere in them hills.
Sunday 1 February 2015
You're nothing without a degree? I disagree.
The school system these days is mono-focused purely on academic excellence. Go to school, get good grades, go to college, go to Uni, get a degree. That is the only option presented.
It is not an option that suits everyone though, and there is a huge area of the populace who have been left high and dry, treated like a lower class of being, because their skills do not tend towards the academic.
I'm one of the last people to tell you that a good, rounded education is a bad thing. A well-rounded education is essential if we're ever going to stop the knee-jerk reactionism of bigotry, which is supported by the twin pillars of hatred and ignorance. When you have been exposed to a good, well-rounded education, the supporting pillars of bigotry are less able to form - many hate what they do not understand, with better understanding there is less hate.
So, given that, why am I on this rant against the almighty degree? Well, I'm not, actually. What I'm saying is there should be other avenues open for people who are wanting something different. It's difficult in the extreme to find a place that will offer training in the trades. Not everyone is an academic, but there is virtually no support in schools for those who are the hands-on types - the electricians, the plumbers, the mechanics, the chippies and brickies, the craftspeople and the artisans, the machinists and the chefs, among many others.
These people may not be the best ones to write you a dissertation on how the fall of the Roman Empire affected the development of the modern world, but they are absolutely essential to your everyday life. Without them, there would be no new houses, the cars would fail, services would become impossible to maintain.
And yet, they are second class citizens in todays society. The blue collar worker is seen as something so much less than the white collar worker. We bitch and moan at the huge cost of fixing our cars, yet accept that a lawyer can earn more in one sitting than that mechanic did all week. We look down on the trades, despite the fact that most of the workforce are not white collar workers.
In schools this is never more evident than at exam time. Children are pushed and pushed to get ever better results in topics that are of little to no value in the workforce, while skills are begrudgingly provided at a minimal level. Why can a child who has an aptitude for mechanics not have an education that furthers this? Academic topics are important, to be sure, and we all need a good grounding in them, but forcing someone with no aptitude to compete against other children in a field they have no interest in does nothing for them.
I believe it is time for a new type of high school. Time for us to recognise that not every child is going to be helped by getting a degree in a topic they will most likely never use and which simply gives them a debt to carry. Time to recognise that skills are just as important to our children as exams. Give them experience in fields that will have direct impact on the careers they choose. Alongside the English teacher and the Maths teacher, let there be the trades teachers - the electricians, the plumbers, the mechanics. Let the children know that this is just as valid a choice for them as a degree and that the qualifications they can achieve are ones that will help them get real jobs in a marketplace overrun with graduates waving degrees that can't even get them work flipping burgers.
The trades are essential to our economy, it's about time we treated them like it.
It is not an option that suits everyone though, and there is a huge area of the populace who have been left high and dry, treated like a lower class of being, because their skills do not tend towards the academic.
I'm one of the last people to tell you that a good, rounded education is a bad thing. A well-rounded education is essential if we're ever going to stop the knee-jerk reactionism of bigotry, which is supported by the twin pillars of hatred and ignorance. When you have been exposed to a good, well-rounded education, the supporting pillars of bigotry are less able to form - many hate what they do not understand, with better understanding there is less hate.
So, given that, why am I on this rant against the almighty degree? Well, I'm not, actually. What I'm saying is there should be other avenues open for people who are wanting something different. It's difficult in the extreme to find a place that will offer training in the trades. Not everyone is an academic, but there is virtually no support in schools for those who are the hands-on types - the electricians, the plumbers, the mechanics, the chippies and brickies, the craftspeople and the artisans, the machinists and the chefs, among many others.
These people may not be the best ones to write you a dissertation on how the fall of the Roman Empire affected the development of the modern world, but they are absolutely essential to your everyday life. Without them, there would be no new houses, the cars would fail, services would become impossible to maintain.
And yet, they are second class citizens in todays society. The blue collar worker is seen as something so much less than the white collar worker. We bitch and moan at the huge cost of fixing our cars, yet accept that a lawyer can earn more in one sitting than that mechanic did all week. We look down on the trades, despite the fact that most of the workforce are not white collar workers.
In schools this is never more evident than at exam time. Children are pushed and pushed to get ever better results in topics that are of little to no value in the workforce, while skills are begrudgingly provided at a minimal level. Why can a child who has an aptitude for mechanics not have an education that furthers this? Academic topics are important, to be sure, and we all need a good grounding in them, but forcing someone with no aptitude to compete against other children in a field they have no interest in does nothing for them.
I believe it is time for a new type of high school. Time for us to recognise that not every child is going to be helped by getting a degree in a topic they will most likely never use and which simply gives them a debt to carry. Time to recognise that skills are just as important to our children as exams. Give them experience in fields that will have direct impact on the careers they choose. Alongside the English teacher and the Maths teacher, let there be the trades teachers - the electricians, the plumbers, the mechanics. Let the children know that this is just as valid a choice for them as a degree and that the qualifications they can achieve are ones that will help them get real jobs in a marketplace overrun with graduates waving degrees that can't even get them work flipping burgers.
The trades are essential to our economy, it's about time we treated them like it.
87% of the charities and social service providers losing funding
From the Ethicaljobs.com.au Blog
This goes far beyond austerity into criminal disregard, and is part of the huge funding cuts mentioned in the Domestic Violence post.
Thousands of vital community sector jobs could disappear this year and "hundreds of charities and social service providers across Australia are facing the prospect of shutting down" in the wake of the Abbott Government’s cuts of $271 million dollars in funding to the sector through the Department of Social Services (DSS).
The cuts were first announced in the federal budget last year, but the ABC is now reporting that of the 5,500 not-for-profits that applied for DSS funding in 2014, only 700 organisations have been selected to receive funding in the year ahead.Let's look at that last bit again... Four thousand eight hundred not-for-profit organisations will lose their funding. 4800. That's more than 87% of the charities and social service providers losing funding.
This goes far beyond austerity into criminal disregard, and is part of the huge funding cuts mentioned in the Domestic Violence post.
After the election...
Congratulations to my wife Susan for standing up for what she believes in. She stood for the Greens and did her best in record temperatures in the first election in a Queensland summer in a century - and don't we know why that is now!
A huge thank you to the people who helped us as well, both the Greens volunteers and our friends Jade and Craig, for all their help on the day.
It was a gruelling run and the final tallies are not in yet but she has easily maintained the Greens presence in Algester even if we were unable to win the seat. I would like to wish Leeanne Enoch all the best as the first indigenous Australian to win a seat in Queensland, I am sure she will be a great leader for Algester and a huge boost to the indigenous Australian community which has been a target of so many of the LNP cuts.
For the state as a whole, I confidently expect to see a Labor government, and I hope that they remember the lessons of this election and that the public will be watching - keep your promises Annastacia Palaszczuk, the state has put its trust in you.
Why is Domestic Violence prevention on the scrapheap?
An open letter to the people of Australia
At the end of February cuts will come into force that will shut down the great majority of support for those women and children stuck in abusive relationships. A Fairfax Media investigation has uncovered more than 50 different services across Australia that are cutting staff, closing entirely or slashing programs. The groups provide victims of domestic violence with services ranging from applying for intervention orders to obtaining emergency food and medical supplies.
This is only the first wave of cuts, with more due to come into force at the start of July. How can we, as a nation, say we are fighting domestic violence when we are destroying the only support network the women and children suffering this abuse have? Everything is under threat, from the most basic food and medical supplies, to legal help to keep the abuser from re-offending, to the very refuges which are often the only places that these victims have to go.
All of the services are already stretched to breaking point and now many will be lost completely as the only funding available to them is callously removed as a part of this brutally unfair budget. $300 million in cuts to these most essential of services, at a time when we are paying mining companies $2 billion – 6.6 times the amount we are cutting from the desperately needed services – so that they can make more obscene profits on the coal that should never have been mined.
This is something we must stand against. To allow these cuts to take place without a fight would be criminal negligence.
This is something we must stand against. To allow these cuts to take place without a fight would be criminal negligence.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STATISTICS
The vast majority of dangerous, abusive and violent behaviour that occurs in the privacy of people's homes is committed by men against women. The most recent information on violence in Australia comes from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, Personal Safety Survey (national survey of 16,400 adults in Australia aged 18 years and over) conducted in 2005. The first issue of this survey was conducted in 1996. The 2005 survey found:
• Just under half a million Australian women reported that they had experienced physical or sexual violence or sexual assault in the past 12 months.
• More than a million women had experienced physical or sexual assault by their male current or ex-partner since the age of 15 (some women may be counted twice if they experienced both physical and sexual assault).
• 37.8% of women who experienced physical assault in the 12 months before the survey said the perpetrator was a current or previous male partner and 34.4% said the perpetrator was a male family member or friend. Most incidences of physical assault against women in the 12 months prior to 2005 were committed in a home (64.1%).
• 33.3% of women had experienced physical violence since the age of 15.
• 19.1% of women had experienced sexual violence since the age of 15.
• 12.4% of women had been sexually abused before the age of 15, compared with 4.5% of men, between 1996 and 2005. There was an increase in the reporting of sexual assault to police from 14.9% to 18.9% between 1996 and 2005 and there was an increase in the reporting of physical violence to police from 18.5% to 36%.
• 64% of women who experienced physical assault and 81.1% of women who experienced sexual assault still did not report it to police. The proportion of women aged between 18 and 34 who reported experiencing physical violence has decreased but the proportion of women who reported experiencing physical violence after 45 increased over the same period. The percentage of women who reported that their children had witnessed partner-related violence either from a current or ex-partner was lower than in 1996.
• The majority of violence against men is committed by other men. Of men who reported that they had experienced physical violence in the 12 months before the survey, 73.7% said that the perpetrator was a male.
Source: http://anrows.org.au/sites/default/files/Violence-Against-Australian-Women-Key-Statistics.pdf
So what can we do? I ask you all to send this to your MP’s, especially those who have newly-elected MP’s. Let them know that this is not an issue that can be ignored, that it must be reversed and wherever possible additional funding, not cuts, should be made to these essential front line services.
Do not stand by while the most vulnerable in our society are denied even that little help, and hope, they currently have. This is the time. Use it. Say “No!” to cuts to the community services, refuges and charities that are the only source of hope and aid to so many.
For more information on how to prevent violence against women, or for media comment
visit www.preventviolence.org.au
For more information and research about violence against women visit www.anrows.org.au
If you are experiencing domestic and family violence, or have experienced sexual assault,
seek support, call
1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).
1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).
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